Break Out

My Mom always points out every imperfection that she notices. And she always notices.

Today I have a rash on my face. An allergic reaction to face cream that I used. Knowing that my Mom would make a comment I put cover up and foundation on to attempt to cover it up just so that she wouldn't point it out. Yup, I am wearing makeup even though I am only sitting around my house in my pajamas cause I am not feeling well. How sad is that..

Well, she noticed and had to point it out. "How come your face is all broke out?" "What caused that?" and "Your face is red." I don't know if she intends to do it or not, but she makes me feel bad about myself. Why does she have to point out the faults, the lines, the imperfections? Every time. She makes me feel super self conscious about myself when she does that.

I wish she would stop, but she has been doing this my whole life. It is probably why I have had to work hard to gain self confidence (which I have had to do on my own because she didn't help). It could also be why I am constantly worried about what others are thinking about me (something I am still trying to get over).

I wish she was strong enough that I could have a sit down talk with her about it, but she's not. I am strong enough that i have learned to deal with it and I think I can handle that. I think